My Antipodean friend is encouraging me to write a standard â€œwe were crap” article lambasting the English Rugby team who have turned Fortress Twickenham into Fill Your Boots, Twickenham. I cannot spin any positives when it’s obvious that we lost the 15 a side Falklands rematch, due to our highly paid team missing some basic skills such as â€œCatching” and â€œThrowing”
But I thought Iâ€™d wait until the triple whammy of Rugby League and Ashes Cricket crank up the humiliation and mental pain of any fool supporting English sport.
Until then, enjoy these cheesy nuggets of humour retrieved from the rancid remains of the Internet bargain bucket.
The English rugby practice was disrupted today when an unknown white substance was found on the practice pitch by some player. Head coach Andy Robinson immediately suspended practice and called the police, after a complete analysis by forensic experts the unknown substance was found to be the try line.
Practice was resumed when the RFU decided the players were unlikely to encounter the substance again!
Andy Robinson takes the England team for a training session, first up he tells the players to take up their normal positions, so they all go behind the posts to wait for the conversion!!
The RFU set up a helpline for disappointed fans after a disastrous season the number is 0800 10 10 10.
Thatâ€™s 0800 won nothing, won nothing, won nothing!
There are two man made things can be seen from space,
The Great Wall of China and the hole in the English defense
What’s the difference between English team and an arsonist?
An arsonist would not waste 17 matches
Although the last one is mildly amusing. Weâ€™ll be fine tomorrow, beat the boks a million to nil and all shall be right with the world. Until the first Ashes test â€“ someone pass me a blanket and a large drink.
POST MATCH EDIT:
Result never in doubt then 😉 And there was even scant consolation for being stuffed in the RL match with the Aussies after the bog trotters gave them a good stuffing in the fifteen man game. Right, Ashes then, I’m feeling confident but it’s been said – and by professional people who know their stuff – I’m deluded.