Hedgehog hunting – the best bits..

… I qualify the word best by substituting “most read”. Not for one single moment would I ever presume that the shit I write exists in some kind of well written hierarchy. No it’s nonsense from day one, self promoting, vicarious, shot through with fibs and inaccuracies and punctuated by random shotgunning of commas and the occasional full stop.

Lately however, I’ve been inundated with at least one email demanding the choicest cuts for the poor newcomer washed upon the prickly shores of Planet Hedgehog. In a cowardly populist move, the selections below are based entirely on number of hits. The few I was most proud of, nobody read. That’s the way it goes with vanity publishing.

So, if you really have absolutely nothing better to do, take a deep breath, ensure many and varied large drinks are in reach around range and prepare yourself for the ramblings of an idiot.

2016

A winters fail
Alcohol Dreams
Running out of time
Living in the moment
ChubFinger
Sensible is for other people
Go Long
To insanity and beyond
A man walks into a shop
My big fat geek shedding
Best day on a bike
What we have here is a failure to communicate
Headcase

2015

Flashback
Enter the Dragrim
The five Ws
Turn it up to 11
Right on Commander
There’s something in the Aeris
Today is a good day to fly
Slated
Are you feeling lucky
We’re riding down there?
For Jenn
Saved by the gel
A bike called labrador
What do you see
Christmas Presents

I’m writing for every issue of Cranked run by writer, photographer and all round good egg Seb Rogers. Print only because it’s too bloody lovely to be digitised. Lots of brilliant articles and photography. And my stuff 😉

2014

That’s awkward
idiots monster
class bore
 Telling Lies
Mind the Gap
Size doesn’t matter
Bar Bills
Speed Awareness Curse
Cry don’t laugh
Bear!
What, Caravan
Bad Habits die hard
Need a lift
Centred
That’ll go

2013

Open Goal
A weighty problem
That was more fun than Mayhem
If at first you don’t succeed
You See? Cured
Not completely terrible
Stadium Rock
Mountain Musings
Back to Black
Eyes Wrong
Evil Eye
Don’t look back in anger
The Startled Turbot
Rise of the Machines

2011-2012

Testing 1-2
Whoosh
You bought me a car
Just a walk in the park
Channelling my inner Clarkson
New is the new used
Head over wheels
In a ditch called dignity
A proper day out
Does anyone have a flamethrower?
The Landrover List
Finally worked it out
IVR
Rock, Paper, Scissors
The hardest Month
Good times
Fridge Magnet
Politeness Costs Nothing

Nov 2010

Quote, Unquote
No Crash Zone
I blame the singlespeeder
Mayhem 2010
Oi you clever trousers!
Mountain Men
Are we there yet?
Fod
Sections
That was the weekend that was
Common Sense
Customer Service
Beyond Thawderdome
This is Why
There’s a problem with your bike

Only a bit of a year later, I’ve found some more. Reading your own stuff again just makes you realise quite how important it is that you get out more.

Connect 5
Walking the dog
Time Machines
Dog days
Revolving Doors
Lights out
The Wrong Stuff
The dog ate my footwear
Riding Buddies
Targets
Waiting for the bus
Compassion Fatigue
My first smartphone
Burn’n’Crash
It’s not Glandular
Rush Hour
Dav 478Y”
Silent Running
MOT
Winning
Not My World
Second Life
Embrace The Mudness

Updates to this page are likely to be randomly generated. Much like most of the posts 🙂

A man walks into a pub
Move it
They think it’s all over
24 hours of ow
Cat in a flap
You get what you pay for
Going Ariel
Hit this, broke that
Puppy Explosion

Springing into action, a further three month update. Quality remains distinctly average:

Hangover Cures
Talent Compensator
The Wizard of Ug!
On The Grout
One Speed, Many problems
Return of the Rant
Of Lice and Van
Fashion Crime
Breaking the Rules

…. update December 2007. Same standard. Still rubbish.
Chasing Cars
Double Seat
Are you an Idiot?
Inner Nutter

Maximum
Marketing
Yorkshire nonsense
Short Haul Hell
Flaws to Manual
Proper Nutter
Home is where the bike is

Hope clings me spurnal

God, have I been doing it this long?
Chicksands
Chip’n’Ping
When Bromptons attack
Street Riding
24
Washing machine crisis
A brush with the floor
Bristol Bikefest
Riding when drunk
Hangovers
Hospital Diaries: 1,2,3 and 4
Darts
Lifts
Degrees
Bingo Night
Being Five
Toilet Humour
Five things about commuting
Russ Appeal write up
Crashes
Yoga
Marooned
Recycle
Hobbies
How many bikes?
Altitude Training

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