The shadow of Punxsutawney Phil lies heavily across this late winterâ€™s morning. The trains are still delayed, the coffee machine is still broken and the weather is still on the bloody freezing side of arctic. Iâ€™d place a handsome bet that the penguins of that region are grumbling â€œglobal warming my furry arse?”
Leaving southern Spain in bright warm sunshine and spring like conditions, my return to the UK woefully failed to deliver any of those much loved climatically encouraging characteristics. However I felt a surge of patriotic pride at the slew of â€œout of order” signs plastered across assorted vending machines, toilets and amusingly one of the departure gates.
I have returned to damning evidence of some hard partying at my desk. Cables, computers and phones have been flung to the four corners of my workspace, resembling the aftermath of a ground zero event. Clearly my mildly ironic signage proclaiming – the genetically indisputable fact – that â€œyour mother doesnâ€™t live here” has failed to instil any manner of basic housekeeping. I shall be setting mousetraps and other such deterrents for my next trip away.
What with spring showing the bonginess of a partially coiled sponge, this could be sooner rather than later. Iâ€™ve been showing remarkable mental strength by successfully stifling the urge to check the Granada weather. Such an action would likely trigger a chain reaction involving booking flights, wasting more non family holiday and â€“ possibly â€“ resulting in impending divorce or death by rolling pin.
But as I was chipping the ice off my windscreen this morning, the cheeky chuntering of that damned groundhog was both clear and clearly irritating.
And the next person extolling the virtues of winter especially in a riding context will be in receipt of a rapid and no nonsense slap across the chops.