Or two in fact after the entire house of url-linked cards collapsed under the weight of WordPress’s shitty editor.
Anyway for what it’s worth*, I’ve updated the ‘best bits’ page, picking out pages with the most hits over the last couple of years. There’s really nothing to add other than the strange corner of the Internet occupied by Skoda Forums clearly have a higher boredom threshold than the rest of my readers.
I’ll leave you alone now
* which I think we can all agree is ‘not a lot’
There have been quite a few changes but to be fair the last update was two years ago. Even so, quite a lot of changes. There’s nothing really to add other than every man deserves a hobby. And – in my case – a mental illness.
Nine days after some wayward prodding by those lovely men at BT, we’ve re-established connection with the Internet.
It’s not fast. It wasn’t fast before hand to set the bar here. But now, we’d probably be better served spending our time creating a time machine and beaming back to the event in question, rather than waiting the Great God Google to return a simple search request.
In the slew of auto-updates following our re-connection with the virtual world, WordPress went mildly bonkers in pursuit of multiple upgrades and the installation of something called “JetPack”. JetPack it preened would solve all my problems, even some I didn’t know about.
This is in fact true. I had no problems – well not that WordPress could sort out unless it had progressed into animated organics and could wield a heavy iron bar – with the blog. Until the upgrade that was. When everything stopped working. At which point a random trawl through the themes directory confirmed the world has indeed gone mad whilst I’ve been away.
Every simple theme I like doesn’t work anymore. Apparently I now must become au-fait with sliders, hidden menu systems, HTML-5 and an entirely new configuration systems based on Quarks. I have neither the available life span or sufficient brain capacity to do so. Instead, it’s this crappy theme and a recognition that 99% of my dwindling readership live their lives on Facebook or FeedBurner.
So not an ideal re-entry arc into the blazing atmosphere of the world wide wibbly, but everything is relative. The kids are off Suicide Watch for a start!
Apparently I haven’t updated the “hedgehog hunting” and “what bikes do you own today Al?” pages for bloody ages. Well I have now and that’s an hour of my life no-one is giving me back. Selected entirely on “most read” stats because otherwise I’d have to read them all again.
If you want to read a proper magazine, check out Singletrackworld which was so desperately short of content this month, they published an article I wrote for them late last year
I feel the urge to mess with the site theme as displacement activity for a painting experience so vast we are praying for a re-incarnation of Michaelangelo. If you want to make a man happy for a day phone a painter and decorator, if you want to make him miserable for life, give him a paintbrush
Not much to see here. Small flurry of year end activity but really, it’s been a bit of a two wheeled drought in 2009.
Also some funky new stats that seem to come free with the latest version of WordPress show me which posts are read the most (or should I say not the “most least“), and so I’ve updated the “Hedgehog Hunting” page as well.
We’ve significant accumulations of snow here, enough to close the schools but probably not quite enough to stop me getting to London tomorrow though. This is the kind of unfairness of life I’ve come to treat as normal.
Anyway I’m off outside to do a snow dance. Possibly naked to improve it’s potency. Probably be on YouTube later
And since not even I am prepared to take a laptop into the smallest room, then nothing is getting written until whatever nastiness that has set up camp in my small intestine, finally gets flushed out.
It’s a good four chapter experience so far.
H’mm, I feel the next chapter coming on
This has to be my best excuse for failing to prod the ‘hog lately. I need to share with you my experiences of extreme tentage in Wales surrounded by beautiful views and many varied flavours of rain and cold. Because soon either the memory will fade, or the counselling will kick in.
There’s a new sport I’d like your views on as well. It’s like a triathlon for pussies – not the feline kind either although maybe that could be something we’d like to consider.
But I’ve been putting up a non ironic shelf which seems to have taken me around three days on and off. It is a thing of beauty, and you’ll be unsurprised to hear some of the delay may have been caused by my not listening to good advice. In my defence, my deafness was due – in part – to the roar of revving powertools. The Jigsaw has taken the number one spot in my favourite tools of destruction.
Shelf wasn’t in the house of course. No, it was another one for the workshop and involved much crouching under benches and smacking lightly thatched bonces on the vice handle. So awed was I with something that ended up level-ish and still there the next morning, I’ve moved on to something even more complex.
I am beginning to think of it as sculptural art. Sort of industrial wood-chic if you will. And if you won’t, well fair enough but once it’s done, I’ll be back although with less machine guns and wooden acting that Arnie. Someone told me he’s Governor of California? Pah what a jest, next thing you’ll be trying me on that we’re releasing terrorists so BP can ruin some more of the planet.
I’m not as green as tha’ cabbage is painted I’ll have you know.
Much to tell, too much snot and general unwellness means it’ll have to wait. Until then, I suggest you all buy Lemsip shares and make a fortune. I’m considering just injecting the bloody things directly into a vein.
I think two days in a cold, wet and muddy field may be a contributing condition to my current malaise. I fully expect within the next day or so to a) shuffle off this mortal coil or b) soldier on, barely complaining *while creating the European snot lake.
Until then, did I mention CLIC was a bit horrible? And yet I find myself thinking that I may again be stupid enough to try again next year. I think I must have OD’d on a mixed bag of cold remedies.
* on the gounds that sympathy is significantly lacking in the Leigh household
Some great public works? The creation of a much admired business enteprise? A trip to all four corners of the earth* maybe? Any of these things has so much more worth than over a thousand day’s of nonsense that makes up this blog.
3 years since I wrote this. 2 years since I said I was stopping and a year since I realised I’d already said everything twice, but no one seemed to have notice. Someone once said “every person has one book in them” and – while they may be right – that’s really where it should stay. The only thing you can charitably say about individuals exposing their vanity electronically is they’re not wasting any real paper, and only wasting their own time.
Not much more to add other than a thousand thanks to Andy who hosts the site and puts up my dumb questions and occasional mass deletions. And a reply to those of you – who clearly also have time to waste – asking what all the random characters are in the archived posts.
At first I thought you meant my friends. Then I mused it was merely lazy spelling and zero proof reading, but on further investigation it seems one of the interminable upgrades has morphed ‘ to %$%^%X. I’m seeing it as a bit of an improvement, and with 300 posts to edit, it has a resolution priority just below counting the hairs on the dog.
Later this week, I shall bore you with a non ironic post heavily detailed in the joy of plumbing. 42 this year, which must mean I am due to understand the meaning of life. And possibly plumbing.
In the meantime, the hedgehog rocks on!
* What is that all about? It’s ROUND. 3 years on and this stuff still annoys me.
.. and rather pleased about it. There are many things about the place (Jo-Burg especially) which I’ll miss not at all. For example, the barbed wire topped residential conclaves housing the white middle class and guarded by armed black guards. H’mm can’t see that ending well in any revolution.
The endless panhandling wasn’t much of a thrill either. Their is a strong directive not to drop a few coins into the hand of a young mother who is using the other one to cradle a hungry looking baby. The argument advanced is to donate to one desperate person will merely attract many more to the same spot tomorrow.
But this is missing the point, surely? The solution must be for the state to provide a safety-net for these young black – and of course they all are black – women. But get into that conversation and a whole slew of barely contained anger laments the state of the country, the way in which it is run and the feeling that it is no longer fair. That’s from the white minority of the population, obviously.
The end of apartheid was so obviously something to rejoice, and yet it doesn’t feel like it has quite gone away. Anyway such weighty debate is not really at home on the hedgehog, so I’ll leave you with this. I never really felt safe out there but what really bothered me was it seemed no one else did either. Not just the constant threat of low level violence (with counter measures you couldn’t make up), but the underlying friction of many different social groups all feeling as if they were the victims.
In completely unrelated news, the site just had another update, after a benevolent hack that probably was exploited through an ancient version of code from someone even lazier than me on this shared server. I don’t think it has enbusted anything but if so, consider it custom code